People 'Bathe' In Nature To Get Respite From Chaotic News Cycle

I have been asked by my editors to weigh in on the nature bathing trend, and I am doing so from a cast iron tub at 4,000 feet, which I would like noted is where the real reporting happens.

Critics say carrying a bathtub into a national forest misses the point. I say those critics have never seen a sunrise through steam while a chipmunk judges them from a log.

Is it practical? No. Did it take three of us and a borrowed dolly? Yes. Have I read a single headline since Thursday? Also no, which is why I am qualified to write this column for FAQS News.

My doctor has since asked me to stop. I have asked my doctor to read the whole headline.