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Study Finds AI Executives Who Believe They're Living Like Rock Stars Are Overwhelmingly Square
PALO ALTO, CA. A sweeping new study released Monday found that the vast majority of artificial intelligence executives who describe their lives as “basically rock and roll” are, in fact, among the squarest people ever recorded.
Researchers followed 200 AI chief executives for six months and found that what most of them called “trashing a hotel room” involved reorganizing the minibar by protein content and leaving a polite note for housekeeping.
“They kept telling us they were living on the edge,” said lead researcher Dr. Monica Fairweather. “The edge, as far as we could tell, was a 9:15 p.m. bedtime and an oura ring score they discussed for forty minutes at dinner.”
The study documented executives referring to their keynote talks as “shows,” their LinkedIn followers as “fans,” and their electric SUVs as “the tour bus.” One CEO, Brayden Kolt of the startup Synaptiq, reportedly told staff he was “going on tour” before flying to three back-to-back panel discussions about enterprise compliance.
Backstage riders obtained by researchers included oat milk at exactly 38 degrees, a standing desk, noise-canceling headphones, and a bowl of almonds with “all the broken ones removed.”
“He said he was going to smash his guitar on stage,” recalled one event organizer. “He did not have a guitar. He knocked over a water bottle, apologized to the AV team, and asked if anyone needed a referral.”
The study’s authors noted one exception: a single executive who stayed up past midnight, which turned out to be because he was still on a call with his board.