Fetching Votes: In Paris Mayor's Race, Dogs Dominate Campaigns

PARIS, FRANCE. With weeks to go before election day, every candidate remaining in the Paris mayoral race is now a dog, after human contenders proved unable to fetch votes at a competitive rate.

“Voters want authenticity,” said campaign strategist Lucien Marchetti, who manages a standard poodle polling at 31 percent. “Our candidate has never once pretended to like a policy he hasn’t sniffed first.”

Debates have proven difficult to moderate. The most recent ended after 11 minutes when a delivery scooter passed the venue and all six candidates left at once.

Political observers say the race remains wide open, with momentum shifting daily based largely on who has the treats.